So, at the end of this week, whether you base it on my calculations or the ultrasounds, I’ll be officially out of the first trimester. Despite the fact that I was already ‘4 weeks’ in to it when I got those 2 lines, it felt like an actual lifetime. In the spirit of sharing, and considering I learnt the most about this strange process our bodies go through from friends and people who’ve been there, done that and worn the tshirt, here are my nuggets of wisdom:
1. You might not need a pregnancy test to tell you you’re pregnant
So many people I’ve spoken to knew they were pregnant before the test confirmed it. The moment I knew it, I was in Falmouth, scraping burny bits off a piece of toast when the smell went up my nose and I suspected that I (as a non-vomity person) might just throw up all over the poor piece of toast. At that point, I cut down on the wine and waited for the pregnancy test a week later to confirm what I already knew.
2. Eating helps with nausea
My pre-pregnancy experience of feeling sick involved abstaining from everything except water, lying down in a dark place and feeling sorry for myself. Eventually, when I felt better, trying a slice of bread and butter to test the waters. Nope. Does not work with pregnancy. Being too hungry makes you feel sick. Being too full makes you feel sick. Being too hot makes you feel sick. The thought of cleaning the bathroom makes you feel sick, etc. So, you gradually learn to leave the house with enough snacks to last a fortnight, and slowly graze throughout the day on whatever you can stomach, even though eating might be literally the last thing on the planet you want to do. If that means that toast forms most of your daily intake of food, then so be it. You can eat some carrots when you’re feeling more human.
3. Do all the sleeps
At first, I fought the urge to nap because it was a bit…predictable. But sooner rather than later, I went over to the dark side and have never looked back. There has to be some kickback from getting up 28 times a night for a wee. I only wish there was somewhere at work I could get my head down for 20 minutes, then I would be quite literally, living the dream.
The fatigue is allegedly going to go away in the second trimester. Yep, still waiting for that one. Yawn.
4. Holy mother of bloat
I’ve been rocking the baggy top look since week 4, and maternity jeans from week 10. I have no regrets. I might not have a bump to put in them, but there’s no doubting I’ve become all thick about my middle. Now I’ve made the leap, I’m not sure I’m ever going to go back to normal trousers. Buttons and jeans are SUCH a FAFF.
5. You will not have a bump like they do on the internet
Each week on reddit, people post pictures of their adorable bumps. I’m most interested in the people who are closest in gestation to me. Why do they have a perfectly formed bump? Where is mine? Why is the world so unfair? etc. My bump grows and shrinks depending on:
- how much food I’ve eaten
- how much I need a wee
- how much I stick it out
I’ve come to the conclusion that these people with their actual round bellies might JUST be sticking it out a tad.
6. Pregnancy rears her ugly head in some weird and wonderful ways
Pretty much anything that happens to you during pregnancy can be blamed on the bump. Great skin? Pregnancy glow. Terrible skin? Blame the pregnancy hormones. Eating Maltesers for breakfast? Baby’s craving them. Looking a bit porky? It doesn’t matter if you are the grand total of 4 weeks pregnant, that is BABY WEIGHT DAMNIT.
7. They give you an ACTUAL ‘get out of jail free’ card
Somewhere around week 10, the lovely people at the NHS sent me a little credit card shaped thing that says three beautiful little words ‘Maternity’, ‘Exemption’, ‘Card’. This magical thing gives you free prescriptions and dentists appointment, but I find it more beneficial to whop it out in times of desperate need, e.g.
- Ran out of biscuits
- Missed the bus to work
- Need moar pillows
- Don’t want to do [insert task here]
And the great news is, it’s valid for a year after you give birth! *rubs hands together with glee*