So long, summer – This week, I’ve mostly been having a serious case of the can’t-be-arsed’s. We’re back from holiday, my tan’s faded already, but the bags are still not unpacked. It’s entirely mental, but I’m having some pretty strong ‘anti-nesting’ urges. All the mess can wait. So can the box room (which is actually filled with boxes). I’ve got 15 episodes of Celebrity Masterchef in HD to catch up on, which in my books counts as SERIOUS BIZNIZ. It’s actually got so bad, I’ve begun to get a sense of achievement from seeing the ‘percentage full’ bit on my Tivo box go down by a couple of numbers. I officially need to get out more.
Thankfully, I don’t think I’m alone in this. The whole country seems to have gone in to semi-hibernation mode. No longer is Twitter (which acts as my barometer for most things) discussing beer gardens, home grown tomatoes and gin and tonics. We’re now in woolly tights, putting the heating on and making-a-bloody-casserole-territory. Autumn, I welcome you with open arms, you are my spiritual home. The maxi-dresses might yet to be packed away, but the cardis, tshirt dresses, knee length boots and comfy scarves have definitely made an appearance.
My social life, or lack thereof – This week, I had high hopes for my social life. I had a leaving do planned with a friend who’s swanning off around the world for 6 months, I was going to go to prenatal yoga, now I’m past the allocated 16 weeks pregnant, and I was going to make the most of my tan whilst it lasted by doing some laps in the local swimming pool with a friend. I’ve bailed on that too, in favour of a hot water bottle, a cat and some medicinal chocolate biscuits, thanks to this bloody dry cough, hourly sneezing fits, sinus pain and cold.
Not only do the pregnancy gods make pregnant folk more likely to get colds and flu, but then they make it so you can’t have any cold or flu medicine to help you though it. Yes, I know I can stick my head over a bowl of water and drink honey and lemon. I would prefer Drowsy Benilyn and a handful of Max Strength Cold & Flu tablets, if it’s all the same with you.
The midwife – Saw the midwife this week, test results from the first scan are all aces, and I’ve put on the grand total of 1kg since getting pregnant, which doesn’t quite tally up with the number of biscuits I’ve consumed of late. She suggested my blossoming bump (or distinct lack, thereof) was down to my ‘strong core’ (ha) and stature (nice way of saying I’m a BFG). Still. I’d probably find something to complain about if I was the size of a house already.
The temporary stretchmarks – This week, I also threw what can only be described as a ‘right wobbler’ over ‘the discovery’ of ‘stretch marks’ which had made their way down my side from my bra to my waistband. I did a lot of moaning about barely having a bump, yet still being blessed with evil stretchmarks, and fearfully contemplated what I might look like in another 4 months time whilst furiously rubbing Clarins body oil all over my midriff.
Of course, the next morning, I woke up to find that the ‘stretch marks’ had magically disappeared. Turns out it was where a seam on a t-shirt had marked my skin from slobbing on the sofa wallowing in snot and sneezes. Lesson learned; rant retracted.
New this week! Leg aches – My right leg, specifically from the knee down, bloody hurts. It’s not a ‘CRAMP-CRAMP-CRAMP-CRAMP’ kind of pain, more a dull, constant pain that makes you want to rub it. The only thing I’ve ever felt that was similar was the feeling of a broken bone, but I’m fairly sure I’ve not broken my leg. The Google-powers-that-be suggest that yes, this is another common pregnancy complaint, no, they don’t know why it happens, and the only way to get rid of it is to, you know, give birth. Lovely.