I’m the kind of person who cries at the news . I cry at people’s weddings, even when I’ve been invited as a +1 and have no idea who they are. I DEFINITELY cry at Grey’s anatomy. I am trulely one of life’s great blubbers.
…but since finding myself in the family way, my blub-o-meter seems to have gone on a bit of a holiday, bar that time when Jenny had a baby. And that time I had a third of a glass of Prosecco and had a little cry because it tasted so good.
Oh, and that time I cried in the kitchen because I was just so damn happy.
SO OTHER THAN ALL OF THOSE TIMES, my emotions have been really under control.
SRSLY, you should have seen me before.
ANYWAY BACK TO THE STORY: Today I impressed even myself by having a full on breakdown at work. I felt like I was letting my mum down, I’d been a bit stressed about it for a few days, and I really got myself worked up to the point where text my best friend 15 times then ran in to a meeting room to call my mum and have a good cry FOR THE MOST PATHETIC REASON IN HISTORY. Behold:
My family had been (kindly) invited to Centre Parcs for the day by my aunty.
I didn’t want to go.
I even feel a bit pathetic just typing that out. I can’t really explain it and I definitely can’t justify it. I didn’t want to sit by a pool on a plastic chair all day, and what’s the point of getting in the pool if you’re not allowed on all the cool rides? I wouldn’t be able to do anything outdoorsy if my back and pelvis feel the same as they do this week, and I can’t even go to bloody Aqua Sana.
In summary: Wah wah poor me, no flumes, whine whine whine.
In my head, I really felt like Mum was pressurising me in to going, and by not going, I would be somehow letting her down and being a terrible daughter in general – to the point where I rang her in tears from a meeting room on my lunchbreak wailing ‘I JUST DON’T WANT TO GO TO BLOODY CENTRE PARCS WAAAH’. Definitely not my finest hour.
Needless to say, she wasn’t bothered in the slightest, I’d made the whole thing up in my head, and 10 minutes later, I still had puffy red eyes, but I had a smile on my face and I’d officially ridden the Centre Parcs pregnancy hormone storm out.
…and then I sat and typed the whole thing out to be recorded for all eternity, and in the hope I can look back on my ridiculousness in years to come and have a little chuckle.