I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but this week happens to be THE LAST WEEK OF THE SECOND TRIMESTER. As in, TWO THIRDS DOWN, ONE THIRD TO GO. As in, BABY R IS SCHEDULED TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN 3 MONTHS, NOT AT SOME ABSTRACT POINT SOME TIME NEXT YEAR. As in, SOMEHOW WE’RE GOING TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS WHOLE OTHER LIFE. Got all that? Goodo. Anyone else freaking out? Just me, it seems.
I had a dream this week that we had a baby and we’d just bought it back from the hospital. Weirdly, it looked exactly like my friend Kate’s baby. Kate’s baby is also about 8 months old – I expect to have a big baby, but if it could NOT be the size of an 8 month old, that would be AWESOME. Anyway, in my dream, I’d realised that we’d not changed the baby’s nappy or fed him for 24 hours, and I had an overwhelming feeling of not having the foggiest idea what to do. I woke up in a teensy bit of a cold sweat and couldn’t get back to sleep.
Side note: Don’t you just HATE it when people tell you about their dreams? Boooring.
So, this week:
You know those things that you always meant to do but never quite got around to it (you know, like ironing…anything…ever)? Well, this week, I ticked one of them off my list. We went to see the Nottingham Panthers with our friends Kerry and Matt.
Over the weekend, I also went and got a much needed haircut. You know the LIES they spin you about your hair being all full and bouncy and never falling out when you’re pregnant? Load of rubbish. My hair looks a bit lank, is covered in split ends, and the other day, I had to cut an actual dreadlock out of it. NOT COOL. I would take a photo of my post-haircut hair and post it here, but it looks exactly the same as it did before, just with marginally less split ends.
Family from Wales also came to visit the ‘new’ house, which is really not all that new any more. They bought biscuits. They know me so well.
Neil was away for a few days on various shoots, which meant I had to do FENDING FOR MYSELF stuff like putting the bin out, feeding the cat and unloading the dishwasher. Not cool.
I also went to the WI Book Club meeting at the Malt Cross. Many Skittles were eaten and many laughs were had. We also got tweeted by Caitlin Moran, whose book we were reading that month. I did a little squee! at that, then pretended I didn’t as Caitlin probably wouldn’t think that was very cool.
I also had a well-documented hormonal breakdown in the office, which was very embarrassing although enough time has now elapsed for me to see the (almost) funny side.
This week has also bought two new and exciting pregnancy gripes which I will now proceed to moan about in great detail. I bet you can’t wait.
1. Acid reflux and heartburn
Apparently this is something to do with the baby getting fatter and jiggling your stomach northwards into your lung space. I’m not really interested in the geography/anatomy of it, but I can tell you that constant sick burps are not a good look. Being woken up at 3am with crippling heartburn is not very cool either. You know what is cool? Swigging Gaviscon from the bottle like a boss.
2. Pelvic Girdle Pain
Probably the LEAST glamorous sounding pregnancy-related ailment (OK, maybe second-least-glamorous behind haemorrhoids) is Pelvic Girdle Pain, or PGP as all the cool kids (don’t) call it. Actually, scrap that, I’ve just remembered that when you get really really pregnant, you wee yourself a little bit when you sneeze, so PGP is THIRD least glamorous sounding pregnancy-related ailment. Got that? Right. Where was I?
Ah yes, PGP. When you feel like your pelvic bones have turned to cheese strings and bend in the middle causing stabby pains in your general pelvic-region when you walk. Or roll over in bed. Or get up off the sofa. Or put your pants on.
I called a physio helpline at my local hospital who booked me in for something called ‘Pelvic Support Group’, which sounds like a laugh a minute, and told me to listen to my body, and that if something hurt, don’t do it. That’s all very well and good, but I’m not sure my colleagues would look favourably on me turning up for work with no trousers on, so I’ll have to be slightly selective about taking on that advice.
She also gave me the following tips (annoyingly, most of which I was doing already)
- Put a duvet underneath you when you sleep for padding (OLD NEWS)
- Put a pillow between your knees when you sleep (I INVENTED putting a pillow between your knees when you sleep)
- Sit down to put your knickers on (DOES help, although you can’t help feel like a bit of a Nana doing it – would also be useful to have one of those litter pickers to put your socks on like they have in old lady magazines that sell gadgets to help you open jamjars, can someone arrange this for me, plz?)
- Sit on a yoga ball instead of the sofa (works, but I DON’T WANNA)
- Do your pelvic floor exercises (I have a continence nurse for a mother, I’ve known about the importance of pelvic floor exercises since before I knew what a pelvic floor exercise was)
- Tense your pelvic floor when you’re getting up/sitting down (this was a new one on me and definitely helped)
- Pull your belly button towards your spine, tuck your tailbone under slightly and lightly squeeze your pelvic floor muscles when you walk (this is a LOT harder work than it sounds, but has definitely decreased the amount of pain I’m in when I walk about)
- Wear a pelvic support band (as glamorous as these sound, I’m holding out for the Pelvic Support Group dishing NHS issue ones out because damn, those things are expensive)
- Do squats, but be very careful that your pelvis is in a neutral position when you do them. These are apparently incredibly good for strengthening your pelvic floor and other supporting muscles, and are also good for getting your body ready for birth. Gone are the days where I used to be able to do a hundred, standing in a muddy field being shouted at by army trainers, 10 shallow squats whilst holding on to Neil is all I can manage these days.
- Give birth – getting rid of the stone of baby weight you’ve been carrying on your belly usually does the trick (thanks for that one, not really practical at the minute though, ta).
So there you go! Everything you wanted to know about avoiding PGP, and probably a few more things beside.
I didn’t take a bump picture this week, but I did take one of the cat, so that will have to do: