Yes, using the CTFD method, you’ll find the pressure lifted and realize your child loves you no matter what, even if they’ve yet to master the alphabet. You’ll also learn that whether or not you’re the best parent in the world, as long as you love your child, they’ll think you are and that’s what matters. Plus, CTFD makes you immune to those that prey upon the fears of new parents, like pseudoscientists and parenting authors.
To use CTFD, just follow these simple steps:
- Calm the f*ck down.
- There is no second step.
So, ignore all those other parenting trends and stick to CTFD. You’ll be glad you did and so will your kid.” (from David Vienna’s “Latest Parenting Trend: the CTFD Method”)
Whilst clearly being a massive piss-take, it also struck a chord with me as I get a bit more comfortable in my new mum-skin (and for once I’m not harping on about stretch marks and thread veins). The fact that Billy has got to the ripe old age of 19 weeks pretty much unscathed (although it was touch and go that time I clipped his thumb nail a teensy bit too short and I never forgave myself) means that me and Neil must be doing at least SOMETHING right.
Even if we still have no idea what we’re doing 99% of the time.