Weeks 14 – 17

Only three weeks late with this one! *fistpump*

Here’s a round up on what’s been going on at the start of my second trimester. FYI, this is meant to be the good bit of the pregnancy, between oh-my-god-I’m-going-to-vom-in-a-bucket and oh-my-god-I’m-so-fat-I-can’t-get-my-shoes on.

Toddler vs Tuppaware cupboard

Toddler vs Tuppaware cupboard


With Billy, I had my 12 week scan at 12w5ds, and they moved me forwards a week to 13w5ds. This time round, we had our scan at 12w5ds, and guess what? They moved me forwards to 13w5ds. I am consistent with my baby growin’. This time round I looked more closely at the centiles chart and a 8cm long foetus is 13w5ds if it follows the 50th centile line. However, if it’s following the 90th centile line, it’s 12w5ds. We all know this baby is going to be born the size of a toddler, so the 50th centile is probably a bit optimistic. In my eyes at least, they shouldn’t have moved me forwards a week. But still, everything else this pregnancy will be judged on those days, so I should probably stop ranting. Bored yet? OK, good.

Now I’ve got that off my chest, here’s the good stuff:

13 week 5 day scan

Would it be biased to say that’s a pretty cute foetus?

When I was pregnant with Billy, I became aware of a theory called “Angle of the Dangle/nub theory”. In a nutshell, babies around 12 weeks have the stub of their tail left over from when they’re all tadpole-ish. Sometime between now and then, I seem to have become a bit of an authority on sexing babies from their 12 week scans. My friend Lucy sends me pictures of her friend’s scan pics and informs me I have 100% success rate.

Kid has strong selfie game

Kid has strong selfie game

So I was pretty excited about seeing our scan and seeing if I could uphold my title. I kept my eyes peeled during the scan and on the photos but sod me if I couldn’t even FIND a tail, let alone judge the angle of it. Sad face.

Also this month, Neil took me out for dinner. I ate all of this, including the gravy boat of melted garlic butter.

Also this month, Neil took me out for dinner. I ate all of this, including the gravy boat of melted garlic butter.

Moans! (or lack of…)

This time, last pregnancy I did a LOT of moaning about my sore coccyx, general backache, nose bleeds, legs cramps and the like. BUT, this time round, I have precious little to moan about. Either I know how to hold my posture better, the little bits of pilates I’ve been doing have been doing their thing or the pregnancy gods have been particularly kind to me. I’m sure they’ll get there own back later.

AND, I only have to wash my hair twice a week! *does victory dance*

Yes, I ate all of this too

Yes, I ate all of this too

More scans!

We decided to get a private scan done at 16.5 weeks to have a sneaky peek at the baby and to see if it’s a boy or a girl. Now I just want to make our stance on this clear from the offset. From dipping into message boards, I know that ‘gender disappointment’ is a thing. This pisses me off on a number of levels:

1, Gender is a sliding scale between masculine and feminine. Sex is biologically male or female. DEFINITIONS, PEOPLE.

2. The fact that your child could disappoint you before they are born makes me really sad. The fact that children can be a disappointment to their parents full stop is pretty grim.

3. Last but not least, more often than not, this comes with some very loaded assumptions and value judgements about what it means to have a son or daughter.

*climbs back down off soapbox*

My favourite cocktail bar makes a mean Virgin Porn Star.

My favourite cocktail bar makes a mean Virgin Porn Star.

We didn’t want to find out because we hoped the outcome was one flavour or another, but we had broached the subject of the ‘baby in Mummy’s tummy’ to Master Bill and thought it might make more sense if it was a little boy or a little girl in mummy’s tummy. Turns out we shouldn’t have worried, because he also thinks there’s a baby in HIS tummy. Then I made the mistake of telling him the biscuits were in my tummy after I ate the last one. You could literally see the cogs whirring around his brain. Just to confirm if you ever read this Billy: I didn’t eat the baby.

Post-nap grumps

Post-nap grumps

My money was riding on team blue in any case, and it turns out my lady intuition was bang on the money. I’m well good at this stuff. Two little boys! How adorable. But fast forward a few years and we’ll have two stinky teenage boys, which is ultimately less adorable.

I had this idea in my head before we went for the private scan that it was going to be a bit like going to a spa. There’d be plinky music playing, scented candles lit and it would be all serene and stuff. It was actually like a soul-destroying office with brown carpets and creepy 4D baby pics all over the wall. The scan itself was cool, although they wouldn’t answer any of my questions because they aren’t allowed to as it’s not a medical scan, which was a bit annoying. Not as annoying as the woman who ACTUALLY said “Now wipe that goopy stuff off your tum-tum” in a baby voice without an ounce of irony. I rolled my eyes so hard I gave myself a headache. For the record: just because I’m gestating a baby doesn’t mean you can talk to me like I’M a baby!

Don’t get me started on the 4D scan bit I didn’t really want. The baby was obviously very comfy tucked in to my placenta, so I do have a 4D picture of him, but it looks exactly like melted cheese.

Next time: even more bloody scans! probably some moaning about new stuff!


16 Weeks

This week’s update comes to you from the sunny island of Crete. The weather’s hot, the company’s good, and they serve tzatziki with everything. I think I’m in heaven. Here’s a few photos:

This is how we spent our days (image stolen from my mate Laura)

This is how we spent our nights

My best friend Laura, my handsome husband and me (with teeny, tiny bump)

Our apartment also came with the hardest mattress known to mankind, which was a blessing in disguise, as after weeks of crippling lower back ache (which wasn’t helped by 4 hours driving and a 4 hour easyjet flight), I woke up on day two completely cured. It may have been something to do with the exercises I’d been doing, or the fact I wasn’t sat in an office chair all day, but either way, I was officially a happy bunny.

I’m also going to get back on with the bump shots, so here’s this weeks:

Warning: slightly NSFW / slightly embarrassing bikini shot below.

My “12 week” scan changed me from 12 weeks to nearly 14 weeks, so my lovely fortnightly bump shot schedule was screwed. Here’s an 8 week / 16 week comparison instead:

Also, I have new found respect for these ladies who manage to take weekly bump shots in the same place with the same proportions. the angles, distance and pose is bloody difficult to replicate between photos, short of having a permanent tripod and an X on the floor set up in the lounge. These will have to do.

I wasn’t sure whether holidaying when pregnant would be much fun. Turns out, it’s pretty excellent. You get to sleep in, take afternoon naps every day, eat whatever you fancy, lounge about, and generally take it easy. I find I was unwilling/unable to sit in the sun for any stretch of time, and mostly sat under a parasol. I also got a bit dizzy a few times walking around in the midday sun, but as long as I had a sit down in the shade with a cool drink and ate regularly, I’m fine. I thought I would miss the lovely holiday boozing, but as we use the hire car most days/evenings, I wasn’t the only person abstaining. I also haven’t beat myself up over having a couple of weak sprite-shandies whilst I’ve been away (shock horror).

New this week: Nosebleeds!

Having escaped the first two and a half decades of my life nosebleed-free, I have had 2 nosebleeds in the space of a week. Thankfully, I’d read about this particular odd pregnancy side effect, otherwise, you can be sure I would be freaking the hell out.

The first happened quite innocently when we were chilling out in our apartment. I must have got up too fast or something, very boring.

The second happened quite spectacularly when my husband turned and picked me up in his arms in the sea. I thought he was being all romantic, until 5 seconds later when he dunked me quite spectacularly off the end of a rock in to the ocean. Cue me taking on a couple of litres of seawater, choking pretty loudly then glamorously heaving in his direction. When I thought couldn’t look any more cool, he told me I was having a nosebleed to boot. I tried to clean myself up as well as I could, and then something even more gross than all of that happened. A fish swam up and ate the blood/bogeys out of the water. Time to get out of the water.

Also this week: kicks!

The little one has made his presence known by giving me some pretty adorable and very undeniable kicks this week. I can no longer pretend it’s trapped wind. They are feet and hands and DEAR GOD THERE’S ACTUALLY A BABY IN MY TUMMY.

Next week: back to work, an appointment with the midwife and the start of prenatal yoga.