Weeks 9 – 13

Here’s a round up of all the stuff that’s been going down, and only 1 month late! *fistpump*

Same as last time:

1. I booked in with the midwife.
Only difference was that the midwife didn’t want to book me in until 10.5 weeks rather than 8 weeks like last time. Other than that, this was incredibly uninteresting, except the part where she stole all my blood, confirmed I weigh exactly the same as I did at this point last time and told me I would get extra scans and be referred for a gestational diabetes test because Billy was such a fat shit.

Aldi's light up bath toys. Good fun but a bugger to photograph on your phone.

Aldi’s light up bath toys. Good fun but a bugger to photograph on your phone.

Gestational diabetes tests appear to be pregnant lady torture. No food from 6pm the night before, then a blood test at 9am, a pint of lucozade, then another blood test at 11am and then you finally get some grub, which you have to bring with you on the day. Cruel cruel world. The 6pm bit is fine, but the no breakfast bit is going to turn me in to an angry angry bear. I have apologised to Neil in advance for my behaviour on that day because I am going to be a freaking nightmare.

2. All the sleep and no booze makes Kate a thin girl
OK, so not strictly true. Bloat and re-organised organs has meant I’ve been in my maternity jeans since I was approximately 1 week pregnant. But in a bid to keep an eye on my health and nutrition, the scales tell me I’m currently 3 lbs down in the first trimester. That’s 3lbs lighter than I was on my wedding day. Looking back through what I wrote first time round, it’s a similar story to then. Don’t worry though, I’ll make up for it AND SOME in a few months.

Shortly after I took this photo, he threw the food at the ducks with such gusto that he did a 180 off the bench and landed in the duck poo.

Shortly after I took this photo, he threw the food at the ducks with such gusto that he did a 180 off the bench and landed in the duck poo.

3. Neil is still my night in shining armour
Don’t mean to turn into a right soppy sod or owt, but I am a very lucky woman. Wanting to make sure I was getting all my nutrients, Neil bought a badass blender type thing (but not one of those superwhizzy vitamix ones I see mummybloggers talking about – I thought they looked pretty good until I realised they cost twice as much as my first car did) and has proceeded to make me a smoothie every morning since. I get my smoothie, a cup of tea and a slice of toast in bed, as well as a lie in, despite the fact he works some ridiculous hours and doesn’t go to bed at 7pm like *some* of us.

Have I posted this one before? If so, soz and all that. Toddlers wearing sunglasses are my new favourite thing. Less so when he snaps my favourite pair in half, but y'know.

Have I posted this one before? If so, soz and all that. Toddlers wearing sunglasses are my new favourite thing. Less so when he snaps my favourite pair in half, but y’know.

In a campaign to be the world’s best husband, for my birthday, he also bought me:
– a Snoogle pregnancy pillow type thing (think this was a bid to avoid losing his half of the bed to a pregnancy bed nest like last time), but goddamn, that thing is comfy.
– 100 polaroid / instagram prints from the past couple of years which are now pride of place on our lounge wall

The new addition to our lounge

The new addition to our lounge

– a stunning stone and armour necklace. Yep, I know, he’s a keeper.

Different this time round:

1. Meat doesn’t taste like death
Last time round, I went virtually vegetarian. To the point that I emailed the sandwhich shop I bought my lunch from every day to tell them their ham was off. It wasn’t. My stupid preggo tastebuds were. All meat tasted like it was rotten, and made me heave at the smell. This meant getting enough protein was difficult, but clearly didn’t do Billy a world of harm as he’s currently a contender for world’s strongest toddler.

Last time, I celebrated the end of my enforced vegetarianism by eating steak and broccoli 3 times a week for the first 4 months of Billy’s life (anemic, whatevs). THIS time, meat still tastes pretty darn good, which makes not being able to eat rare steak a complete pisser.

This kid has strong pout game

This kid has strong pout game

2. I only need to wee once a night
Good news! Unlike last time, I only get up for a wee once a night! Bad news! I wake up when Neil comes to bed, when the cat jumps on my head and when Billy decides 5am is morning anyway, so I might as well be up weeing.

3. My luscious non-greasy pregnancy hair is nowhere to be seen
Not going to lie. This was a major perk last time. I only had to wash my hair once every 4 days, from washing it every day. It was thick and generally looked ACE. It almost made up for the bit where it all fell out 3 months post-partum and I ended up with bald spots, then it all grew back at the same time and I ended up with wispy facial pubes I had no idea what to do with. Having kids is 100% glamour, 100% of the time.

I’m sure I’ll have to go through all the hair loss this time round as well, so can we hurry up with the bit where my hair looks excellent to compensate plz? Ta.

Not bragging or owt but got a sneaking suspicion our son is an artistic genius.

Not bragging or owt but got a sneaking suspicion our son is an artistic genius.

4. I have SPOTS on my BACK
Yep, this particular symptom is not cool either. I have zits. Big old zits I’ve not had since I was 15. I ORDERED 9 months of flawless complexion, so where is it?

Next time: Scans! More moaning! Swears!


Weeks 4-8

At approximately (exactly) 4 weeks and 4 days pregnant, all those nauseous, gassy feelings I’d forgotten all about came rushing back and I took to quietly retching into a sick bowl without waking Billy at night or muffling my heaves with coughs during the day to avoid alerting my colleagues to my new-found up-duffness.

Toddler walking Jack Russel

I haven’t taken any photos of me yet, so you’ll have to put up with pictures of first born doing adorable things. Like walking the dog with my brother.


Here are some of the best bits I’d forgotten about in weeks 4 – 8:

1. Holy mother of bloat
I adopted high waisted jeans post Billy and I’ve never looked back. It’s been a relevation! They stay up of their own accord and slim down all your lumps and bumps. I ❤ high waisted jeans.

…Until I was approximately 4 weeks 4 days and 6 hours pregnant when the bloat hit. Seriously, what’s that about? Now my high waisted jeans make me look like a michellin man and my jeans drawer has been replaced with old-worn in maternity jeans. Zero fucks given. I’m getting my money’s worth this time.

Things I've done when I've not been asleep: carrying a 3 tonne toddler across a cold and windy beach

Things I’ve done when I’ve not been asleep: carrying a 3 tonne toddler across a cold and windy beach

2. Bottomless-pit hunger
Between having Billy and now, I’d made some decisions about things I’d do differently this time around. I would meditate, I wouldn’t drink diet coke, I would do more pilates and I DEFINITELY wouldn’t gain *whispers* 45lb in the process. I was to be bona fide, carrot stick eating earth mother who was always refreshed, didn’t have back ache and wouldn’t dream of eating half a packet of hobnobs in one sitting.

So. About that.

I am so goddamn hungry. I wake up hungry. I go to sleep hungry. Two hours after an evening meal, I will be hungry. This is some next level hunger that just can’t be satisfied. And, not hungry in a ‘ooh I fancy one of those’ kind of way. This is like, “if I don’t eat in the next 3 minutes, I’m going to collapse on the floor”. So I’ve stocked up on the bananas and apples, I’ve boiled up some eggs and bought some remotely healthy nuts, seeds, dried apricots and cereal bars and filled my handbag with snacks.I have managed to quit the diet coke habit, and I think I’ve gone off chocolate. Hopefully it’s just a phase.

Tennis ball-sized snowballs

Tennis ball-sized snowballs

3. Pilates
I found a couple of early pregnancy pilates videos on Youtube in a bid to avoid the crippling coccyx pain I had last time round and to have a pelvic floor of steel by the time the whole giving birth thing came around. I’ve done these a grand total of twice in a month, largely due to the fact that the second Billy goes to bed, I’m ready to hit the sack too.

4. Meditation
I did some Mindful Mamas meditation last time round, and quite liked it, despite the fact that no-matter what time of day I did it, I often woke myself up snoring at the end. This time round, I downloaded Maggie Howell’s “Overcoming Morning Sickness” MP3 and listened to it a few times. I like the sound of her voice and the music isn’t too annoying, so I think I’ll give the others a listen too.

First time sledging: big fan

First time sledging: big fan

5. So tired. So very tired.
I pretty smugly thought I could DO tired. Working full time from 8 months and having a child that only slept through consistently from 1 year (unless he was ill, teething, we were getting rid of the dummy, it was a full moon etc) had prepared me for that, so I thought. But pregnancy tired is a different kind of tired, and rightly so, I suppose, because you are growing a human inside you. So, to ease the baby-growing load, weekends are now designated ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ zones, despite the fact that this baby weighs 3 stone and has a better vocabularly than me.

Also, people that tell you pregnancy goes faster second time around are dirty dirty liars. Longest 4 weeks of my entire life.

Notes on the first trimester

So, at the end of this week, whether you base it on my calculations or the ultrasounds, I’ll be officially out of the first trimester. Despite the fact that I was already ‘4 weeks’ in to it when I got those 2 lines, it felt like an actual lifetime. In the spirit of sharing, and considering I learnt the most about this strange process our bodies go through from friends and people who’ve been there, done that and worn the tshirt, here are my nuggets of wisdom:

1. You might not need a pregnancy test to tell you you’re pregnant

So many people I’ve spoken to knew they were pregnant before the test confirmed it. The moment I knew it, I was in Falmouth, scraping burny bits off a piece of toast when the smell went up my nose and I suspected that I (as a non-vomity person) might just throw up all over the poor piece of toast. At that point, I cut down on the wine and waited for the pregnancy test a week later to confirm what I already knew.

2. Eating helps with nausea

My pre-pregnancy experience of feeling sick involved abstaining from everything except water, lying down in a dark place and feeling sorry for myself. Eventually, when I felt better, trying a slice of bread and butter to test the waters. Nope. Does not work with pregnancy. Being too hungry makes you feel sick. Being too full makes you feel sick. Being too hot makes you feel sick. The thought of cleaning the bathroom makes you feel sick, etc. So, you gradually learn to leave the house with enough snacks to last a fortnight, and slowly graze throughout the day on whatever you can stomach, even though eating might be literally the last thing on the planet you want to do. If that means that toast forms most of your daily intake of food, then so be it. You can eat some carrots when you’re feeling more human.

3. Do all the sleeps

At first, I fought the urge to nap because it was a bit…predictable. But sooner rather than later, I went over to the dark side and have never looked back. There has to be some kickback from getting up 28 times a night for a wee. I only wish there was somewhere at work I could get my head down for 20 minutes, then I would be quite literally, living the dream.

The fatigue is allegedly going to go away in the second trimester. Yep, still waiting for that one. Yawn.

4. Holy mother of bloat

I’ve been rocking the baggy top look since week 4, and maternity jeans from week 10. I have no regrets. I might not have a bump to put in them, but there’s no doubting I’ve become all thick about my middle. Now I’ve made the leap, I’m not sure I’m ever going to go back to normal trousers. Buttons and jeans are SUCH a FAFF.

5. You will not have a bump like they do on the internet

Each week on reddit, people post pictures of their adorable bumps. I’m most interested in the people who are closest in gestation to me. Why do they have a perfectly formed bump? Where is mine? Why is the world so unfair? etc. My bump grows and shrinks depending on:

  • how much food I’ve eaten
  • how much I need a wee
  • how much I stick it out

I’ve come to the conclusion that these people with their actual round bellies might JUST be sticking it out a tad.

6. Pregnancy rears her ugly head in some weird and wonderful ways

Pretty much anything that happens to you during pregnancy can be blamed on the bump. Great skin? Pregnancy glow. Terrible skin? Blame the pregnancy hormones. Eating Maltesers for breakfast? Baby’s craving them. Looking a bit porky? It doesn’t matter if you are the grand total of 4 weeks pregnant, that is BABY WEIGHT DAMNIT.

7. They give you an ACTUAL ‘get out of jail free’ card

Somewhere around week 10, the lovely people at the NHS sent me a little credit card shaped thing that says three beautiful little words ‘Maternity’, ‘Exemption’, ‘Card’. This magical thing gives you free prescriptions and dentists appointment, but I find it more beneficial to whop it out in times of desperate need, e.g.

  • Ran out of biscuits
  • Missed the bus to work
  • Need moar pillows
  • Don’t want to do [insert task here]

And the great news is, it’s valid for a year after you give birth! *rubs hands together with glee*

12 Weeks? 13 Weeks?

Today, I woke up a lovely 12w6d, took a quick bump shot and tootled off for my first ultrasound.

It was, for the record, as awesome as people tell you it will be. What you don’t get from the still images is the general amazingness of seeing the sonographer prod your belly with the scanner thing, and seeing your baby kicking it back defiantly. I dutifully turned up with a full bladder, and was promptly asked to go empty it as he (TOTALLY convinced it’s a boy) was pretty comfy, completely upside down against my mega-full bladder. He had a bit more room once I’d been to the loo. We saw hands and fingers, and feet, spinal cord and heartbeat, it was incredible.

13w5d scan

But what I wasn’t expecting was for the sonographer to measure me at 13w 5d – a week beyond what I thought I was. As well as screwing up my fortnightly bump shots and weekly blogs, this also brings my due date forward to 22nd February 2013.

After initially having a bit of a freak out, I’ve decided that babies come when they want to come, and ‘weeks along’ measurements don’t really mean much in the grand scheme of things.

So, here’s my 12 week 6 day OR 13 week 5 day bump shot. Feeling all belly, but decided to forgive myself for that, considering I’ve seen the baby in there, and he’s officially awesome.

12 weeks 6 days or 13 weeks 5 days?

I’ve also added that to the ongoing bump gallery, which is also screwed up thanks to the docs new calculations…

6 week to 12 week bump progression

11 Weeks

I’m on a roll with these weeks, they’re going by pretty fast and I feel like I’m kind of in the swing of things. Or as in the swing of things you can be when no-one knows you’re pregnant, it’s 20+’C outside and all you want to do is hide your first trimester bloat under a massive cardi and a huge scarf. Come on Autumn, do your worst. I need to get my knee length boots and tshirt dresses out of storage.

How to get no help and draw no attention to yourself whilst acting like a prat in public:

Still getting the dizziness, which cumulated quite spectacularly with me nearly passing out in Subway. It was really warm, I was carrying a heavy bag and had walked for miles, and because of a client meeting, I was at least one meal down by lunchtime. The queue was massive and I was a bit shaky when I got to the back of the queue, sweating by the time I ordered and gripping the rail for support when they asked me if I wanted it toasted. By the time it got to the bit where they ask what salad you want on your cob, I shouted ‘everything’ before plonking myself arse-first on their beautiful cold tiled floor before my body made the decision to do it for me.

Interestingly, no-one commented, no-one stared and no-one came to help – although this is probably more of a reflection of the normal clientele in that particular branch of Subway than the people of Nottingham. I probably just looked like the world biggest subway fan, which, may just be the case.

New this week:

Interesting new developments this week: I’ve started telling my husband off in my sleep. Not actual words or actual insults, just sleep-grumps that leave him with no doubt that he’s in trouble, but no idea what for. What can I say? I like to keep him on his toes.

Wardrobe dilemma number 2:

I go on holiday in a few weeks. I’ll be 15 weeks when I go, and 16 weeks the day I get back. When I first got pregnant, I assumed I would be all ‘with adorable bump’ by that point, but the closer we get, the more I think I’ll still be all ‘with too many biscuits’. After going swimming a couple of weeks ago and feeling pretty uncomfortable in my lovely bikini, I decided it might be worth investing in something that’s going to cover the gut until it looks more bump like.

Once you chuck in to the mix the fact that you’re a 34G (with no pregnancy boob-gain, yet) and have slightly wonky baps, so need slightly padded cups to detract attention away from the wonkyness, and you’re in a right pickle. I don’t want to get a normal tankini as being just short of 6ft, these usually cut me across the belly button as it is. There’s little point getting a normal cossie as at between £30 – £60 a shot, I want something that’s going to fit me for more of the pregnancy than this one week in Greece. My wardrobe saviour finally came in the shape of this tankini set from Figleaves Maternity.


It’s not underwired, and on its own, it looks ridiculous, but with a simple black bikini underneath (I can’t find the exact one, but this is similar), it actually looks half decent. And I’ll be comfortable with all the bloat, and be able to wear it at the local pool when I do get a bump too!

10 weeks

After my 8 week appointment, the midwife called to let me know that I had a bladder infection, which I thought was a little odd as I felt fine. (Un)luckily for me, the anti-biotics she described are mean and evil and made me feel mega-nauseous once again this week. Still, the little maternity prescription exemption card the NHS sent me kindly softened the blow a little.

I also made my first non-book baby purchases this week in the form of a Bababing delux daytripper bag. My stipulation was that it should be unisex enough for a boy or girl, manly enough so my husband would carry it and not cost the earth. It seriously has so many pockets, it took us 10 minutes to find them all, it’s even got a wipe-able bin section (husband asked why we would possibly need this, didn’t want to break it to him) and everything else you can think of. It costs ~£65 on the John Lewis site which has more snazzy photos and stuff, but we got a Mocha version for £45 delivered from Amazon.

I also caved and bought some amazing maternity trousers. I was a bit apprehensious about  finding trousers to fit as I’m nearly 6ft tall and a size 14, with big calves and a 35 inch leg. It also felt a bit daft to be buying maternity trousers when I clearly don’t have a bump to put in them, but it made even less sense to buy ‘interim’ kecks to last me a few weeks, so off I went. H&M was my first stop, and I was chuffed to bits to find two pairs of skinny low rise jeggings with belly bands (see exhibit A and exhibit B)…

…and a pair of mama denim boyfriend shorts with a belly band which I can’t find a link for love nor money, but I’m wearing them in the “10 week” picture below. As non of my work trousers fit anymore, I also ordered these badboys from Long Tall Sally, which will inevitably be so long I’ll have to turn them up several inches. Oh, and I bought this skirt from Warehouse. I bought it in a 16 to wear under my (so it would be long enough in the leg) which will be lovely for my upcoming jollies.

In other non-shopping related news I got my scan date through (22nd August), went to the pub, hosted a Tapas dinner party with some friends, went swimming, dog sat for my parents and ate a lot of Cinnamon Grahams.

Me and the dog have done lots of this – lying on the sofa with a blanket

The scales are saying I’m the lightest I’ve been for over 2 years, but as I found out I was pregnant the day I moved in to the new house, and hadn’t weighed myself in the old house where I knew the scales were accurate, I can’t tell whether it’s just the weird floor here, or whether I’m actually quite thin. I certainly don’t deserve to be after the amount of biscuits I’ve eaten, but I’ll have to see what the doctor says.

This brings us nicely to the photo of the week:

Check out ma bloat




…and on to the finest bit of photoshoppery of recent times, a bloat comparison chart! And yes, I know it’s all bloat, but it’s new bloat, so I reserve the right to be excited about it!

6 weeks, 8 weeks, 10 weeks bump comparison pic



9 weeks

In addition to the (not since repeated) slowest run in the world that I did last week, I added to my pregnancy fitness regime by buying two yoga dvds and thinking about doing them. Actually, that’s not fair. I did get round to doing half of one, but I had a slice of toast in one hand and I felt a bit stupid during all the ‘put your hands on your belly and connect with your baby’ stuff because the only thing I was actually connecting with was my normal pudgy belly.

I also purchased one of those blow up exercise balls you see pregnant women bouncing on in episodes of One Born Every Minute. I should probably count blowing the bloody thing up as exercise as well, because even with a pump, it was bloody hard work. So far, my husband has done lots of pratting around with it, but as yet, no exercise has been done. Makes a good foot rest though, so all is not lost.

Other than that, this week has been largely uneventful on the pregnancy front. Weeing all night, nausea keeping at bay, lots of sleeping being done and not a lot else.

We headed to Cromer in Norfolk for a weekend camping with some friends, which sounds fun until you need a wee 3 times a night and have to trudge across a field to find a loo. We walked for miles, ate waay too much meat and had a bloody lovely time. I would post a picture of the beach, but WordPress only allows tiddly upload sizes, so you’ll just have to imagine.